My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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