I'm jealous of your bromance
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
