so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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