i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
