I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
