i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
