I have demons in me.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
