your parents love me but you hate me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
