so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
