i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
