he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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