I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
