how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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