Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
