I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
