My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
