Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize