glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
