Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
