at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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