Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
