Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
