Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you win again, gameday.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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