sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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