At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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