Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
