everyone is single if you try hard enough
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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