everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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