i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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