he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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