you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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