I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
