8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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