Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
