Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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