First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
