He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
