I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize