Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
