.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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