I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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