i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
