she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize