Dual....:-)
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
