Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
