Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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