I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
