Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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