Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my being single is dangerous.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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