why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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