yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
