I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
