This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
