Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
