Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize