First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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