I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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