I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
