I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize