OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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