the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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