He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
