dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
